Cat and House

CAT: I see that you are building something.

ME: Yes.  I’m building a house.

CAT: I thought so.

ME: You are very observant.

CAT: That is what cats do.  Who’s house are you building?

ME: Why, it will be my house.

CAT: Where will I live?

ME: With me, of course, just like you always have, except before I brought you home.

CAT: Why won’t it be my house too?

ME: Well, this is just a technical matter.  The house will be in my name.

CAT: What do you mean by technical?  When it comes to climbing a tree, I am quite good at that.

ME: Legally a cat can’t own a house.  

CAT:: I heard on the internet that a woman left her cat her house and a caretaker in her will.  

ME: You can’t believe everything you hear on the internet.

CAT: But I fact checked it and it was true.

ME: They must have set up some kind of trust for the cat.  In someone else’s name in other words.

CAT: Likely story.

ME: Why do you doubt me?  And why are you so concerned about my health?

CAT: For two reasons actually.  First, you drive like a bat out of hell and will likely wrap yourself around a tree one day.  And secondly, I’ve noticed you’ve been eating a lot of junk food lately.  They say processed foods, especially sugar, are bad for your heart and can cause diabetes.  

ME: When I first picked you up and brought you home you cried bloody murder the whole way home.

CAT: Now you know why.  I was scared out of my wits.

ME: And I eat lots of good food too. A little treat now and then can’t hurt you.

CAT: It is just the now and then seems to be mostly always now.

ME: I’m glad that you are concerned about me.  

CAT: So, what will happen to me if you die?

ME: I hope some nice old lady with have you and let you nap in her lap by the fireside.

CAT: That isn’t so reassuring.  I might as likely end up at the animal shelter with my picture in the paper.  I may not be so cute when I get older.  Who would want an old tired cat?

ME: I will talk to my lawyer about setting up some kind of trust, just in case something happens to me.

CAT: That makes me feel some better.

ME: I’m glad.  I only want the best for you! 

CAT: And the same for you!

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